Archive for April, 2008

of course you do

Friday April 18, 2008

I don’t know what to do.

There are so many happy things to focus on.
Like, the dress fitting I had last night, the coffee talk I shared with Paige, the backyard play visits from Rosalynn and Violet.
But I just can’t seem to figure out what to do.
I haven’t posted in awhile because the words don’t come.

That is such a cute outfit Anne, she says.
I smile and nod and think – who the hell cares about my outfit? You think my outfit is cute?!????!?! Of course you do.

I am starting to notice that I don’t care at all….it is quickly slipping away. The caring I mean. The caring about what I did or didn’t do or need to do or have to do.

I know this doesn’t make any sense to you. I can’t say what I really want to say just yet. Someday, I am optimistic.

All will be okay – I will head home this afternoon and pick up some food or not pick up some food and then get home and play with Judy as much as I can and then fall asleep and wait to dream the dreams you dream about.

What do I do?
I wait.

let me say

Thursday April 10, 2008

I don’t know what to say.
I can’t say much.

I am frustrated at work.
There I said it.

Let me say it again – I AM FRUSTRATED AT WORK.

More than anything I am disappointed and angry.
With this place, with these people, with the hypocrisy.

What do I do?
I don’t know yet.
But I will not be silent.

cambridge, ma

Sunday April 6, 2008


A Revolutionary War cemetery that dates back to the 1600′s that includes the graves of slaves, soldiers, past Harvard President’s and other important men.